39/10

Featured in Graham Norton i likes: Cher/Keira Knightley/Michael Fassbender/Josh Brolin/Jalen Ngonda (2024)

Helen embarks on a passionate affair with a man who has no idea what her secret identity is. Caught in the crosshairs when her lover falls victim to London’s dangerous underworld, Helen’s employer calls on Sam to protect her. Bingo, the owner of the guitar shop where Sam buys his guns, is played by Rat Scabies, a member of the band The Damned.

Spies, London, Keira, Ben, quality cinematography, lovely soundtrack – what could possibly go wrong?

Fairytale of New York Written by Jem Finer, Shane MacGowan Starring The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl. Plus, I already know this is my favorite genre and will overlook any shortcomings that may arise. But when the dialogue in Episode 1 slowed down, several moments ran too long and scenes with attempted Quinten-style dialogue left me feeling awkward, I tried to console myself.

I was wrong

Surely they’re just developing characters and setting a unique tone. As the episodes dragged on, I realized this show wasn’t going to deliver. Not only was it disjointed, but it had few to no characters I actually cared about.

I’m so sad for what could have been

I honestly don’t know how the magic happens, but I was deeply drawn to the stories and characters in Slow Horses, The Americans, Le Bureau, the Diplomat, and even The Old Man – despite all their flaws. Add to that a lack of stakes and countless flaws in basic details, and the irritant-to-intrigue ratio became too high to be enjoyable. Yes, all the major espionage elements are here in Black Doves, but somehow there was no salt in the recipe and by E03 I was already speeding up the playback.

Don’t waste your time scrolling endlessly — here’s the full lineup of new movies and TV shows coming to Netflix this month

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